Teenagers Suicide - Recognize the Symptoms

Suicide is the third leading cause of death for teens from 15-19 years of age and the fourth leading cause for 10-14 years of age. The suicide rate for children is rising each year. Girls think about attempting suicide about twice as much as boys, however, boys are actually four times more likely than girls to actually die by killing themselves.

When my oldest son was a junior in high school one of his best friends committed suicide. This was a total shock to all of us. To give you a picture of what I saw was an adorable blond surfer dude, very smart and happy go lucky. His parents had long ago divorced and his father had been sober in Alcoholics Anonymous for many years and a teacher at his high school. He was athletic; he made great grades and the girls adored him. What I didn’t know was he drank alcohol regularly although I never smelled it on him or had a clue. One day in the middle of summer Henry just disappeared in his old van. He wasn’t found for five days. He had parked his van in an obscure location in those 100 degree heated days, hooked a hose from the tail pipe through the closed window, drank beer and wrote a couple of good bye letters. By son was extremely upset. He said Henry would talk about it might be his time to go but they all thought he was joking. Henry’s mother let my son read the letter to him but wouldn’t give him the letter. Basically, he said he thought he had a problem with alcohol and he didn’t want to live that kind of life. So, in this state of mind, he must have felt hopelessness and a teen hasn’t experienced enough of life to know that nothing stays the same. Suicide is a permanent fix to a temporary problem. This was a closed casket funeral and one of the saddest funerals I ever attended. The fact is everyone missed the signs.

My youngest son knew of a boy in school who died playing Russian roulette with a gun. I don’t even know if he wanted to die or was just showing off. I have a friend who lost one of her five teenage children to suicide who was an acquaintance of my middle son. This boy used a gun shot to the head. Suicide affects everyone, family member, friends, teammates, neighbors and sometimes even those that didn’t know the child well but maybe just saw them in school. So, what are the signs that we must be missing?

I also saw suicide attempts fairly frequently as a nurse. Teenage girls in particular will take a whole bottle of Tylenol and then eventually tell someone. This might be more a cry for help than a serious suicide attempt, but a Tylenol overdose is a terrible way to die. It destroys your liver. If the attempt is caught in time the doctor orders the patient to drink Mucomyst which is a drug typically used in inhalers for respiratory patients. It tastes terrible but it is the only thing that will absorb the Tylenol. If you wait and get liver damage, it is a very long and very painful way to die.

Why are we losing so many of our teens? They feel strong feeling of stress, confusion, peer pressure, self-doubt, and pressure to succeed, financial uncertainty and other fears when growing up. Many children are from broken homes, there is way too much abuse and verbal abuse can be just as debilitating as physical abuse. So, they are dealing with divorce, formation of a new family while trying to figure out how they fit in, often frequent moves so they must change friends which can intensity self doubts, and the list goes on.

Suicide rates differ between boys and girls. Girls think about and attempt suicide about twice as often as boys, attempting suicide by overdosing on drugs or cutting themselves. Yet, boys die about four times more often than girls because they tend to use more lethal methods, such as firearms, hanging or jumping from heights.

Parents should be aware of the most common signs that an adolescent might be thinking of killing themselves:

• Change in sleeping and eating habits
• Withdrawal from friends, family and regular activities
• Violent actions, rebellious behavior or running away
• Drug and alcohol use
• Unusual personal appearance neglect; (classic symptom of wearing only black)
• Persistent boredom, difficulty concentrating, a decline in school grades
• Marked personality change
• Frequent complaints about physical symptoms, such as headaches, stomach aches, fatigue, etc
• Loss of interest in prior activities of interest
• Not tolerating any praise or rewards even though deserving them
• When the child has suffered a recent loss, particularly a death of a family member or a recent divorce can make a child more vulnerable to be self-destructive

There are also some more serious signs to be concerned with:

• Complaining of being a bad person or of feeling rotten inside
• Giving verbal hints like, “I won’t be a problem for you much Longer.”
• Saying “nothing matters” or “It’s no use” or “I won’t see you again.”
• Putting their affairs in order by giving away prized possessions, cleaning their room if they typically don’t, or throwing away important belongings
• Becoming suddenly cheerful after a time of depression. They might actually spontaneously say something like “You know I love you”
• Having psychosis, hallucinations which require immediate psychiatric intervention

This covers the main signs of teen suicidal behavior and depression. In Part II, I will cover Things Parents Can do if Their Adolescent Seems to Have Suicidal Tendencies